


[why do I let you out of the house?] a Sasuke Uchiha production.

by Strawberrysmilees



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Sasuke!centric, Sasukes thoughts, also there is a puppy, and video taking, cheesey af, corperate sasuke, drunken texting, mention of the other dudes - Freeform, mostly SNS, some sakuxlee if you squint, what happens when someone gives naruto alchohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:04:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberrysmilees/pseuds/Strawberrysmilees
Summary: late nights, Drunken texting and somehow, a puppy.Sasuke seriously needs to keep Naruto on a leash, or at least keep him away from kiba.mxm, if you dont like you are in the wrong place, my dude.





	[why do I let you out of the house?] a Sasuke Uchiha production.

**Author's Note:**

> so this was just a little WIP I've had on my laptop that I finally finished after ages and a depression-fueled writing extravaganza. some fluff and stupid!naruto that I thought the internet might enjoy. 
> 
> (italics are Sasuke's thoughts)
> 
> so please, Enjoy! 
> 
> also, sorry Sasuke is such an ass.

 

* * *

It was 1am on a Thursday night.

* * *

Sasuke growled under his breath as he noticed the time, realising that he had literally been in his office for 13 HOURS and no one, not even his secretary had come in to check on him

_in Suigetsu's defence, I did cancel all my appointments after lunch to finish some paperwork, but why didn’t he check in before he lef- on wait, there's a message on my phon- and there is Suigestu, letting me know he was leaving. At 5 PM._

 His back creaked loudly as he stretched, the stiffness in his neck and sides making him groan a little as he signed the last sheet with a flourish. The lavish surroundings of high-level office feeling more akin to a jail cell than a pleasant place to work after being in it for so long, so  He hurriedly threw together his things, trying to get home as soon as possible. As he stood to retrieve his briefcase from the coffee table by the door, it occurred to him that he had left his personal phone on silent since a very loud phone call from his very loud husband had interrupted his last meeting before lunch.

Since after that came the huge mountain of contracts and budgets that needed to be reviewed and approved before the next day, when negotiations would begin for the biggest merger of his life. it had been a while, and he was a little surprised that Naruto hadn't tried to call him t work, before he remembered that not only did he tell Suigetsu to let Naruto know he was going to be late and that he needed to, but also that his favourite blond had reminded him 3 times that morning that he was having dinner with Kiba and a couple of their friends from college, and that he was welcome to join them if he finished early (to which Sasuke scoffed, but thanked him with a shy kiss anyway).

 _Idiot always likes to tease me, and the others are the same, although it would have been nice to have dinner with them. But this is too important._  

This was to be the crowning achievement of his 4-year career at Uchiha industries, that was going to launch him right into the executive's chair, right next to his father, brother and uncle Madara, who had issued the challenge in the first place.

_The ONE time that I invite Naruto to dinner with Dad, Aniki and Uncle Madara, it ends in that idiot insulting him and taking his bait. Uncle only made that bet because he couldn’t even get a meeting with Sabaku industries, let alone try and negotiate a merger. Like they aren't the ones who are having financial trouble and don’t need OUR help. Although I guess that if anyone was going to organize that merger it had to be me, after all, I did go to college with the CFO of the company, and he is one of my husbands best friends. I wonder if he's out with them tonight…_

He had been working overtime and then some to make sure the merger was smooth, calling in every favor and using every business tactic he knew. Naruto had, of course, been incredibly supportive and kind besides helping him talk to Gaara, offering everything from a lunch delivery when the crisis' meant he couldn’t leave the office, to some of his other connections and networks, including the very big string he pulled at the mayors office that granted him a meeting with the Suna executives the Sabaku office.

Which brought Sasuke back to why Naruto hadn't called. _My personal phone is in my jacket pocket anyway_ , he mused, as he threw some of the more important documents in his briefcase for the next morning, determined to crawl right into bed as soon as he got home and let the warm scent of his husband lull him into a hopefully peaceful sleep. The thought of those white bed sheets in their cozy apartment little ways out of the city, where the distance between his office and Naruto studio is the same did little to soothe the tightness in his chest but still made his skin bristle with anticipation, and as he threw on his jacket and snapped shut his briefcase he took a final breath, and set off.

* * *

  41missed calls. 73 messages.

* * *

 Sasuke blinked blearily at the numbers as the elevator brought him smoothly to the carpark, sure that he had somehow mistaken them under the fluorescent lights. Why the hell has he got 73 message?! As his fingerprint prompted his phone to unlock, he pulled down the notification screen and the skin begins to bristle for another reason - all the messages were from Naruto.

_What the heck is going on?_

He paused beside his car, scrolling through to the top of the messages, which had apparently begun at 1 pm and the latest of which had been sent less than 10 minutes ago. 

They began at around lunch, just after he had texted Naruto for the last time to let him know that he was in a meeting.

* * *

 Naruto : hey sas, I know you are working hard, don’t forget that I believe in you! Luv yu (sent 1:15pm)

Naruto: also since you are not replying does this mean the conversation about getting a puppy is back open? (sent 1:16pm)

Naruto: if you don’t reply im gonna assume that’s a yes (sent 1:16pm)

Naruto: its okay, you don’t have to say anything sas ;) (sent 1:17pm)

Naruto: im going to the pet shop after work (sent 1:17pm)

Naruto: … (sent 1:18pm)

Naruto: okay I may have already been to the pet shop (sent 1:18 pm)

Naruto:  <sent an image> (sent 1:18pm)

* * *

 The picture featured a little ball of red fur that looked more like a little fox kit than a puppy, with its round and intelligent looking amber eyes and pudgy little kit body.

  _Goddamnit Naruto! How the hell did he manage to go to the pet shop without calling me and begging to get a puppy- OH YEAH, he just went ahead and bought it! I don’t even think that we are allowed to have animals in the apartment, not that it will be an issue, Naruto being super close to Iruka and all. I guess it is good that hes such good friends with the landlor- NO Sasuke don’t get side tracked, your husband bought a puppy without asking!_

* * *

Naruto: his name is kurama, he has been with itachi for a week (sent 1:19pm)

Naruto: I said we would pick him up tomorrow after you get off (sent :1:19pm)

Naruto: don’t be mad hes so cute (sent 1:20pm)

Naruto : <sent an image>  (sent 1:21pm)

Naruto : <sent an image> (sent 1:21pm)

Naruto : <sent an image> (sent 1:22pm)

Naruto  … (sent 1:24pm)

Naruto: im dead, arnt i? (sent 2:03pm)

* * *

Several more images of the little puppy rolling around and being adorable, causing havoc in what he recognised as his elder brothers apartment.

Despite being pretty mad that Naruto decided to adopt a puppy without consulting him, the way his heart constricted as the puppy flashed its round eyes at the camera told Sasuke that this particular fight would not last long at all.

_Damnit why did he have to pick such a cute one? And why didn’t  Aniki warn me, I swear im gonna kill him!_

_…_

_Well, im gonna try, at the very least!_  

* * *

Naruto : if you finish early,the dinner is at ichirakus (sent 6:03 pm)

Naruto : it was my turn to pick (sent 6:04 pm)

Naruto : please don’t be mad about the puppy thing (sent 6:07pm)

Naruto : even sakura said you shouldn’t be mad (sent 6:08pm)

Naruto : <sent a video> (6:09pm)

* * *

Their blossom-haired classmate and best friend sat opposite from Sasuke's blond husband by the angle of the camera, and mock-scolded Naruto for buying a puppy without asking. Sasuke smirked, glad to know that even after all these years, Sakura still always picked the winning side. 

_She has always known which side to go with, at least that much hasn’t changed._

* * *

 

Naruto : I will do whatever you want me to for the next few days (sent :6:09pm)

Naruto : in the bedroom or otherwise (sent 6:09pm)

Naruto : just don’t make me take kurama back to the pound (sent: 6:10pm)

Naruto : I love youu (sent 6:11pm)

* * *

Even though it was over texts, it filled Sasuke chest with warmth every time Naruto sent him those words.

 _But im still mad about the puppy. Did that idiot even get supplies? I bet that im going to be the one who ends up taking care of it, Goddamnit.._  

* * *

Naruto : are you still working? (sent 9:23 pm)

Naruto:  Jesus, sas, this years bonus better be big (sent 9:23 pm)

Naruto : everyone says hi, we all miss you (sent 9:24 pm)

Naruto : OMG sakura and lee are getting married (sent 9:29 pm)

Naruto : damnnit you win I owe you $5 (sent 9:30 pm)

Naruto : how the hell did you know that he was going to propose to her with a flashmob? (sent 9:31 pm)

Naruto : anyway we are going to celebration drinks at the pervy geezers bar (sent 9:43pm)

Naruto : come and meet us here when you are done?(sent 9:43 pm)

* * *

  _I freakin knew it! Lee never gets nervous, although im surprised that he didn’t ask me or naruto about which ring to buy.. He probably asked Ino I guess, although I would rather stick a pin in my eye than go shopping with her._

The next few messages came with a grammar impairment that Sasuke knew came with alcohol, and despite knowing that Naruto was a capable man that could take care of himself, he was worried - this was not the first time that his husband had been goaded into drinking too much when he wasn’t around, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

* * *

Naruto : sas save me ive had like 10 shots ( sent 10:40 pm)

Naruto : we are playng neber hve I ever (sent  10:41 pm)

Naruto : im loosin big itme (sent 9:41 pm)

Naruto : they keep sayign thins weve odone (sent 10:42 pm)

Naruto : did yiuy teii ayinr amotu the time with the lpsikf? (sent 10:53pm)

* * *

_Damnit, its so easy to bait him into playing stupid games like that. Someone knows about the lipstick? I thought we agreed that Naruto doesn’t get to tell anyone about it, not if he wants it to happen again! That idiot probably told someone while he was drunk.._

Sasuke knew that if there was anyone that had told someone about the time with the lipstick, it certainly was not him.

* * *

Naruto : sas we wen tto kareoke (sent 11:17pm)

Naruto : are yoy fiibed yet? (sent 11:17pm)

Naruto : <shared his location with you> (sent 11:21pm)

* * *

  _Why the hell did he send me the location, like im the forgetful one?_

His favourite blond had sent the address of a karaoke bar 15 minutes away from his office and around the corner from Jiraya's pub. He was not entirely sure why, since their little group of friends often found themselves at that particular bar after a few drinks, Sasuke himself having taken part in more than a few of those drunken karaoke sessions.

* * *

 

Naruto : see im not drink I stil know how t do that (sent 11:22pm)

Naruto : and no it didn’t ake me 20 minusite to figure out how to(sent11:23 pm)

Naruto:  I was getting a drunk (sent 11:23pm)

Naruto : omg they are pakuing our song!  (sent 11:40pm)

Naruto : <sent a video> (sent 11:41pm)

* * *

 

And there was Naruto, holding his phone in front camera view with one hand and the microphone in the other, "can you feel the love tonight" from the lion king playing loudly in the background as his husband slurred enthusiastically through the lyrics. It was off key and generally awful, and Sasuke felt his chest tighten with worry.

_Oh lord hes already taking drunken videos. The last time he got that drunk, I found him under a table at iHop, eating a burger from wendys and telling everyone about the boxers he bought me for Christmas with the words "property of Naruto Uzumaki" embroidered on the butt._

_Not that I wear them or anything._

_…_  

* * *

Naruto : its not complwr without youu (sent 11:43pm)

Naruto : <sent a video> (sent 11:44pm)

* * *

 The video was from the main camera now, the background song the same but now all that could be heard of Naruto was a long wail of "aaasssuukeeeeeeee whhheeereee arrree youuuuuuu??!?!?" with  the banshee and hyena cackles of their friends cutting through Naruto's cry as he saw most of their college friends bent over with mirth or red in the cheeks, form laughter or alcohol he didn’t know, but suspected both.

 _Jesus Christ, who the hell gave him so much to drin- oh theres kiba, never mind._  

* * *

Naruto : I miss youyy (sent 11:52pm)

Naruto :<sent a video> (sent 11:58pm)

* * *

Naruto was beyond intoxicated at this point, eyes half lidded and lips slack as he held his phone at arms length, and slung his other arm around Sakuras shoulder. The blossom tressed girl was shouting over all the voices in the cramped karaoke room that they ere a few minutes away from midnight, and that they had to countdown. The rest as lost in the pandemonium of voices that followed, the last thing being Naruto howling a loud "wooooo" over the crowd as they begun to count 

 _Like this idiot doesn’t know what his limit is, Goddamnit we aren't in college anymore you freakin moron!_  

* * *

Naruto : sasuke cont down with us (sent 11:59 pm)

Naruto : 10 (sent 11:59 pm)

Naruto : 9 (sent 11:59pm)

Naruto : 8 (sent 11:59pm)

Naruto : 7 (sent 11:59 pm)

Naruto : 6 (sent 11:59 pm)

Naruto :5 (sent 12:00 pm)

Naruto : 3oh shi (sent 12:00 pm)

Naruto : 1 (sent 12:01 pm)

Naruto : HAPPU NEW YEARR (sent 12:03PM)

Naruto : w re goin to shisiu;;s clib to clbrate (sent 12:04pm)

Naruto : wooo HHAPPAueee Neww uaAAARR (sent 12:04pm) 

Naruto : <sent an image> (sent 12:18)

* * *

 A blurry image of  the lit dance floor at his cousin Shisui's club, with Sakura and her now fiancé lee standing in the middle, the almost illegible shape of their usually enthusiastic companion on one knee in front of the girl, who had her hands on her lips in drunken surprise.

_Jesus, this one might be even worse than the iHop incident._

* * *

 

Naruto : GOM sas sakuraand lee ae etug  marrisd (sent 12:18pm)

Naruto : we suud het marries (sent 12:19pm)

Naruto : WAI thayts n ot now I was gonna confellsss ! (sent 12:19pm)

Naruto : <sent a video> (sent 12:21pm)

* * *

 

Naruto had given his phone to Kiba (?) Judging by the cackling in the background, and was mirroring lees position from before, on one knee as the floor underneath him pulsed different colours and the dubstep blared behind them.

"SASUKE" he shouted into the camera

"YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN, AND I LVOE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. YOUR ASS IS THE BEST THING TGAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME"  he paused to take a swig from a shot glass he was somehow still holding, and continued.

"PLEASE BE MY BOYFRIEND AND I WILL GO TO DISNEY LAND AND GET YOU A BIG R2D2 PLUSHY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT’S WHAT YOU WANTED FROM THE LAST TIME WE WENT! "

He paused to take a deep breath, then belted somehow even louder. "BE MY UKE, SAS!"

with that he got off his knees and stumbled towards the camera, shouting "DID YOU GET IT?! DID YOU GET IT?!" to the camera man, who's cackles had broken down into full blown mirthful howls.

 _Oh for f-_  

* * *

Naruto : so wgarr di u say? (sent 12:22pm)

Naruto : will toy aeey mw? (sent 12:27pm)

Naruto : I promsie to make you pncakes (sent 12:28)

Naruto : and that I wont byu a cpuppu without asking you (sent 12:28)

Naruto :pleae mary me (sent 12:29)

Naruto : I lvoe youuu (sent 1:06pm)

* * *

 

  _Dear lord when I find him, his ass is mine._

There were some messages from Sakura and Neji, who had apparently been dragged to the dinner too, with pictures of Naruto doing various stupid things like taking 10 shots in a row, and a short video of him tripping on the sidewalk, gigging for 10 seconds and getting up before tripping again. Sasuke felt his heart pumping on overtime as he swore under his breath, fumbling in his pockets for the keys.

_why do I let him out of the house?_

He steeled himself with that garnet eyed resolve that had scored the respect of everyone working at uchiha industries, and stepped into his car, setting course for Shisui's club _._

* * *

 "CANNN YOU FEEL THE LOOOOOOOOVE TO NIGHTTTTT!?" Naruto belted from his perch on Sasuke's back, filling in his own harmonies and back ground music with loud, off key screeches. Sasuke had long stopped trying to shut him up, and instead settled for leaning backwards and threatening Naruto with a fall every time he got too loud, to which his inebriated husband would scramble to stabilize himself around Sasukes shoulders, and go back to whispering the song to himself under his breath, giggling every time a hiccup interrupted his song.

_Jesus, I do not get paid enough for this._

 He leant back again, and Naruto grabbed him roughly from behind, pulling himself back so his lips were just by Sasuke's ear, hair brushing against the back of his neck and making the Uchiha stifle a shiver.

"geez, sugar, first you kidnap me from my friends, and now your trying to kill me?" he wined. "you even took my phone, so now ill never know if Sasuke wants to marry me!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and shifted Naruto so that he was resting more comfortably on his back.

_Sugar? What are you, some kind of southern pervert?_

"im sure that they wont mind,and  I wouldn’t worry about that." he drawled, to which Naruto scoffed.

"please, just because your hot mister doesn’t mean that they wont call the police, I mean you are one of the sexiest people I've ever seen but your still going to jail. And of course im worried, I really want to marry Sasuke and hes hasn’t replied to my confession yet!" the blonde haired boy whimpered the last part, and sasukes lips curled into a little smile.

"you think im hot? And you _really_ love this Sasuke, huh?"

"yeah, I mean you are totally my type, with this silky night sky hair of yours and that deep voice, you remind me a lot of my Sasuke. Hes my whole world, and I want nothing more than to share my last name and the rest of my life with him." he sighed, finally settling on Sasuke back and nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

_I should have listened to  Uncle Minato and Auntie Kushina when they tried to warn me about his mouth. This guy is smooth._

"I love him more than the sun, the moon and the stars, and I bet that if you come home with me and he sees how hot you are, he might agree to a threesome or something" he chirper sleepily, making Sasuke chuckle.

 _Okay damn that’s kinda cu- no Sasuke you are falling for that whatever voodoo magic got that ring on your finger, stay strong man!_  

His mind urged him to stay resolute, with every soft nuzzle Naruto was breaking his resolve.

"I don’t know about that, but ill tell you what. Sasuke is going to say yes to your proposal. " 

"oh yeah?"Naruto squealed sleepily.

"oh yes.Hes going to leap into your arms and kiss you in front of all your family and friends at graduation, and you are going to get married on a roof top at sunset when the sun and the moon are out." he took a slightly shaky breath and continued.

"and when you are dancing your first dance and the sun is on the horizon, you're gonna whisper something into Sasuke's ear that will make him fall in love with you all over again."

"what do I say?" the sleepy voice asked, and Sasuke shifted him gently before continuing once again.

"you will, out of the blue, simply whisper "you are everything." and he will be sure that marrying you was the best decision he has ever made." Naruto sighed with happiness, nuzzling Sasuke's back.

_Why does he have to be so damn cute for?_

"Sasuke always tells me that his life got brighter when I came into it, but I know it’s the opposite. My life was a day of fluorescent lights, and a night of darkness and terrors, but then he turned the day into sunshine and warmth, and illuminated the night like the moon. Without him, I would be plunged back into the cold and the darkness, and I would be lost." he yawned. 

"Sasuke is _everything_.". And with those three words, Sasuke felt all the stress building up in his body, all the nerves and tension from the merger melt away, his head becoming hazy from the unique mix of sunshine, miso, and beer that came from the man on his back. He set him down for a moment, the boy breaking into protests before sweeping him up again, this time cradling the sleepy boy against his chest.

 _I'm so screwed._  

"Sasuke loves you more than anything. He will defiantly accept your confession, don’t worry," he whispered, turning a final corner before coming up to where he had parked his car. Naruto closed his eyes in the comforting embrace and smiled.

"thanks for saying this, hot kidnapper. How do you know this anyway, are you some kind of psychic hot kidnapper?" Sasuke chuckled and opened the car door with his foot, and nestled him into the passenger seat tenderly. 

"yes naru. Im a psychic hot kidnapper that’s gonna take you home now." Naruto threw a sleepy mock punch in his general direction and scoffed.

 "good luck psychic hot kidnapper - Sasuke will come and kick your ass, and then his scary brother will set you on fire."Sasuke snorted back laughter as he closed the door softly but firmly. 

_Please, Aniki doesn’t need me to tell him to set someone on fire._

* * *

  The drive home mostly consisted of Naruto dozing off between a soft rendition of _"can you feel the love tonight_ " and Sasuke driving as smoothly as possible, shooting his sleepy husband glances every so often to make sure he hadn't awoken from a particularly sharp turn.  As he pulled up into the apartment parking lot, the singing had faded off into sleepy moans and sighs, and sasuke carefully scooped up his husband again, cradling him against his chest as he made his was up into the apartment. As the door opened with a click, Naruto's eyes cracked open, and with them came a twinkle that told Sasuke his nap sobered him up some.

"Sasuke! You saved me from the hot  kidnapper psychic!"

"yes, I couldn’t let him take you home and have his way with you." he drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he glided through the apartment, keeping his movements smooth. 

"I knew you would save me!" he sighed contentedly as Sasuke set him on their bed, removing Naruto and his own outside clothing and tucking his husband under the sheets, before crawling in himself. 

"of course, you know I don’t like sharing." he countered, and Naruto hummed in agreement, snuggling close to Sasuke.

"I know. And I also know you are going to kill tomorrow at the merger meeting. You can do this, sasuke. I believe in you."

Like a wave of warm air Naruto words melted the stress and worry in Sasuke shoulders. He sunk into his husbands arms, breathing in his warmth, albeit with a little whiskey in the mix. 

"thanks naru. You know, you are gonna be so hung over tomorrow…"

Naruto moaned loudly in displeasure, holding Sasuke tighter. "mmmm sas, why do you gotta say things like that? Just lemmie enjoy being drunk in bed with my sexy husband." he nuzzled his face into the crook of Sasuke's neck, and as the two tired boys begun to doze off, Sasuke heard one final whisper as he drifted off to sleep.

"Sasuke, you are everything."

And he knew that no matter what happened, regardless of the stress and worry of his job, as long as he had a little apartment, soft white sheets and this idiot to come home to at the end of the day, he was going to be okay.

_Because Naruto is everything._

_But im still mad about the pup- oh who am I kidding, its so damn cute._

 

**Author's Note:**

> heh, no one can be mad at a puppy. sorry again Sasuke is a butt, he's just high strung I guess. 
> 
> Woah I didn't realize how long this is for a one-shot sorry about that I hope you enjoyed it anyway 
> 
> anyways, I hope you liked it, please feel free to leave a comment with thoughts or questions or whatever although please have some mercy on me I'm a little tender ATM. 
> 
> and come and join the fun and the reblogging of SNS and other fandom related art and other things at my tumblr http://sweetstrawberrysmiles.tumblr.com/ if you want to see more, although i understand if you dont haha. 
> 
> have a nice day my dudes.


End file.
